W O R D S

Words heal. Words make us laugh. Words make us cry. Words take away our breath. Words give us courage. Words make us think. Words make us dream. Words make us smile. Words speak. Words transport us to another time. Words are beautiful. Words are good. Words are bad. Words are long and short and nice and...

...Words sometimes hurt.

I'm sure a lot of you have heard that old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." To tell you the truth...I. Hate. That. Saying. Hate's a strong word, right? It's an emotion. A feeling. You'd react if someone told you they hated you, right? It may be a small word but there's certainly a fair amount of emotion tied to four little letters.

I just watched an ABC Family movie called, Cyberbully, so thought I'd share my thoughts about how the theme of bullying inspires a lot of my writing and young adult fiction in general.

Truth: I've been bullied. Isn't hasn't ever really stopped. Sure, I've stood up for myself and said what I needed to say in order for them to "stop"...but in reality, it can and probably will happen again and again. Different people come and go from my life, your lives, and we take the good with the bad. I've come to realize that bullying doesn't have an age limit because people will always find a way to be cruel no matter how young or old they are. Bullies talk behind our backs. They whisper things loud enough so you can hear them. They write things on websites. Like ants, they gather with other bullies and try to tear you down, intimidating you with their numbers. I swear this rant is going somewhere...

As a young adult writer, I always strive to include "true to life themes" in my stories, whether that be boyfriend/friend issues, parent issues, school issues, bullying, etc. Bullying just so happens to be one of my most used themes and it's no wonder why, when the world we live in is filled with so much violence.

The novel I'm currently working on actually deals with all of the aforementioned themes but specifically focuses on bullying as one of the subplots. I think it is important that young girls (and guys!) read books that show strong protagonists triumphing over peer pressure and bullying. Hatred, jealousy, and envy are three things I automatically think of when I hear the word, bully. Because I think of my characters as living, breathing beings (it's a writer thing), I always take into consideration their feelings, emotions and actions in regard to situations they encounter.

Now, even though my novel is set in the 1800's, the theme of bullying is no stranger to this time period than any other in history. I could write for days about how women were treated like property, etc., but that's not really the point I'm trying to make. What I want people to realize is simply...words are never merely words. They are thoughts, feelings, emotions, phrases and ideas written with the intent to make someone FEEL or THINK or REACT...you get the idea.

This is why I love reading and writing young adult fiction. Emotions are often raw and unforgiving and characters, namely high school aged, are wrought with decisions that will impact their futures. Words will pass between friends. Words will pass between enemies. Words will be spoken and unspoken. Bullying will exist on paper, in chat rooms, on Myspace, on Facebook, on blogs...anywhere words exist.

My wish, is for the words I write to affect positive change in the world, no matter how small that change might be.

Some books dealing with this issue include:

1. Names Will Never Hurt Me by Jaimie Adoff
2. The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin by Josh Berk
3. Blubber by Judy Blume
4. Hate List by Jennifer Brown
5. The Truth about the Truman School by Dori Hillestand Butler
6. Getting Revenge on Lauren Wood by Eileen Cook
7. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
8. Just Listen by Sarah Dessen
9. This Is What I Did by Ann Lee Ellis
10. The Skin I'm In by Sharon Flake
11. Shattering Glass by Gail Giles
12. Sticks and Stones by Beth Goobie
13. Nailed by Patrick Jones
14. Girl on the Other Side by Deborah Kerbel
15. Speak, Laurie Halse Anderson
16. 13 Reasons Why, Jay Asher
    

Ok. Now I'm done. I swear. :)

These are a few of my favorite things

In no particular order...

1. Books
2. My iPod
3. Sour Patch Kids
4. My iPhone
5. Glittery things
6. Soft things
7. Things that smell nice
8. The color pink
9. Happy people
10. The fruit filling inside a Pop-Tart
11. Dark Chocolate
12. Cherries
13. When a book literally makes you LOL or COL (cry out loud)
14. The feeling of getting into a warm car after freezing your butt off in the movie theater
15. Rain
16. Mint chocolate chip ice cream
17. When you can still laugh with a friend about something stupid the two of you did 10 years ago
18. Happy endings
19. When you realize you're doing exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life
20. Hugs

When I was a poet...

Forever in the Grave

I wandered in the woods late one night,
found myself at the iron gate of a graveyard.
Low hanging willows crowded at the entrance,
I slipped past the rotting lock, ashes, it's red-brown
rust clung to my white shirt like dried blood.

Walking past the headstone of "Beloved Father"
I crunched dead leaves beneath my feet and saw
the moonlight's bright glow ascending upon
one tombstone...a massive pillar.
Erected in the center of the graveyard like
a lighthouse whose beacon was dissolving fog.

Standing much taller than I, the pillar's cracked
foundation had etched on it an epitaph in Latin:
Aeternum Vale--Cursum Perficio
"Farewell forever, my journey is over."
I wondered who lay inside the massive grave
whether or not they knew I was standing
upon their casket, 'neath the cold brown earth?

No marker of when Death came for the nameless
only the faded inscription to tell us of the Fate.
My mind began to wander towards ghastly thoughts
of whether maggots crowded the black holes
where once eyes were, or if earthworms played its bones.

Would this be the nameless' new journey--to lay among
the cold hard dirt and watch as the living trample atop
its grave, Aeternum, forever...

The Cabin

The cabin near the lake
Lies bare beneath the rays of sun.
Sparkling blue shimmers make
Flickered memories of summer's fun.

Bare beneath the rays of sun
The thick evergreens rustle an sway.
Flickered memories of summer's fun
Too soon lost in darkness of another day.

The thick evergreens rustle and sway
In wind that creaks the boards of wood.
Too soon lost in darkness of another day
All at once disappears my childhood.

In wind that creaks the boards of wood
My skin shivers like the lake's weeds.
All at once disappears my childhood
And summer turns where winter leads.

My skin shivers like the lake's weeds
As the grey frosty air brings snow.
Summer turns where winter leads
Covering the cabin where I cannot go.

The grey frosty air brings with it snow
So too, swiftly, the lake begins to freeze.
Covering the cabin where I cannot go
Miles of white upon the land's knees.

Too swiftly, the lake begins to freeze
And I stumble upon the path back home.
Miles of white across the land's knees
The cabin near the lake dies alone.

Unspoken Words

Into oblivion I shall fall.
Nearest the edge of fate,
Steeper becomes the wall.
Oh, relief! It comes too late.

What awaits me down the hill?
The two greatest sorrows of my life.
Sighs so deep within my will,
No longer can I bear this strife.

Angels hear me now!
My plea echoes throughout.
I want to live somehow,
But stronger becomes my doubt.

Rocks bleed my skin so red,
Tumbling farther into black.
Pain presses into me as heavy as lead,
As silence creeps longingly back.

Into oblivion I shall fall,
Without strong hands to catch.
Screaming is futile with each call,
The suffering body meets its match.

Into oblivion I shall fall,
Midnight forever in my heart.
Happiness crumpled to the infinitely small
Seeing no end rips my spirit apart.

If only my sewn mouth could astound,
I'd tell you of my deepest woe.
Words written into the earthly ground,
Remnants etched of thoughts once so.

Into oblivion I shall fall,
Nearest the edge of fate.
Steeper becomes the wall,
"I love you" comes too late.

Music for Words

Because I need something to clear the voices in my head. Because the walls of the world surrounding me need to crumble. Because I cannot think without music's silence. Because I cannot create without the simple, pure cadence of words clearing the misty vapors of my mind. Because all at once a song can be so completely right and inspiring and beautiful.

Below, I've posted the song I listened to on repeat 50 times last night while I was editing a few chapters. I wrote an intense and emotionally charged scene and I needed a song that would pull me into my character's world, into the moment and into the action. I love this song (obviously, since my ears are now bleeding music, haha) and I hope someone else will discover the magic in it, as I have :)

Lyrics: Song to the Siren

On the floating, shipless, oceans
I did all my best to smile
til your singing eyes and fingers
drew me loving into your eyes.
And you sang "Sail to me, sail to me,
Let me enfold you."
Here I am, here I am
waiting to hold you.

Did I dream you dreamed about me?
Were you here when I was full sail?
Now my foolish boat is leaning,
broken lovelorn on your rocks.
For you sang "Touch me not, touch me not,
Come back tomorrow."
Oh my heart, oh my heart shies from the sorrow.

I'm as puzzled as a newborn child.
I'm as riddled as the tide.
Should I stand amid the breakers?
Or shall I lie with death my bride?
Here me sing: "Swim to me, swim to me,
Let me enfold you."

Here I am, Here I am, waiting to hold you."